The Social Energy Exchange: Surrounding Yourself With People Who Also Try
Relationships thrive on balance. The best connections don’t come from one person doing all the work—they come from mutual effort, shared energy, and a give-and-take that feels natural.
Yet, so often, we find ourselves in friendships or communities where we’re the only one trying. We reach out first. We plan the get-togethers. We check in. We make the effort. And over time, that imbalance becomes exhausting.
A village isn’t built by one person—it’s built by people who all contribute.
The Weight of One-Sided Relationships
When we’re surrounded by people who take but don’t give, we start to feel drained. Instead of feeling uplifted by connection, we feel depleted by it. And over time, that exhaustion can turn into resentment or loneliness—even when we’re technically not alone.
Signs you might be in an unbalanced social dynamic:
You’re always the one making plans or checking in.
When you need support, people seem distant or unavailable.
Your energy feels drained after interactions, rather than fulfilled.
You feel like you have to chase connection, rather than it being freely given.
Surrounding Yourself With People Who Also Try
The best relationships—friendships, partnerships, communities—are built on shared effort. No one person carries all the weight. Instead, there’s a natural rhythm of giving and receiving, supporting and being supported.
So how do you find people who also try?
Pay attention to effort. Who follows up? Who remembers the little things? Who makes space for you the way you make space for them?
Set boundaries with those who don’t reciprocate. Not everyone will match your energy—and that’s okay. But you don’t have to pour into people who don’t pour back.
Be open to new connections. Sometimes, we cling to old friendships out of habit, even when they no longer serve us. It’s okay to seek out relationships that feel more balanced.
Celebrate the people who do show up. Notice and appreciate those who make the effort. Connection grows when both sides feel valued.
A Village Where Everyone Contributes
A thriving community isn’t just about finding any people—it’s about finding the right people. The ones who show up, who try, who give as much as they take.
Because at the end of the day, connection isn’t meant to be a burden—it’s meant to be a shared experience. And when you find the people who also try, everything feels lighter.